Headline: November 1st 1979
Housewife tricked by two obese escapees from the Tammy Fae Baker makeup application rehabilitation center. Treats go missing.
A frightened housewife reported yesterday two ‘stout swindlers’ showed up at her door demanding candy.
“They seemed nice at first” said Mrs. W of Burnaby, BC. “I mean, when I opened the door they smiled at me and to be honest I kind of felt sorry for them being so chunky, then I noticed that one of them well, ‘stuffed’. It was obvious, I could see the pillow hanging out of their shirt. I guess they knew I was on to them because the next thing I knew they held out pillowcases and yelled at me.”
Mrs. W goes on to report that the suspects forced her to hand over handfuls of candy, practically cleaning her out.
Police have identified the desperate pair to be T. Dee and T. Dum, also of Burnaby.
As of press time the suspects are still at large.