I would never find work in closed captioning

I am the queen of misheard song lyrics. If I don’t know what a singer is actually saying I will make something up. This can can sound kind of close to what is being said but generally doesn’t make a lick of sense context-wise. It’s not my fault, I mean if Mick Jagger, Elton John et al could enunciate it wouldn’t be a problem.

My friend’s daughter (who is a 18 year old classic rock aficionado) drummed me out of the ‘cool mom’s’ club when she found out I thought one of the lines from ‘Stairway to Heaven’ was “and every wino down the road” instead of “and as we wind on down the road”.. pshhh like that song isn’t over played and over-rated anyway.

Anyway, last night after Tom got home from work (around 1:00 am) we sat on the couch enjoying a nightcap while he decompressed. I was flipping the channels trying to find something to watch and ended up stopping on one of those ‘hits of the 70’s’ infomercials and we started playing ‘name that band’. Tom beats me pretty much every time so I have to keep reminding him that I was a kid for the bulk of the 70’s (cough*old man*cough) so even if I ‘know’ the song I may not know the artist.

So the song ‘I really want to see you tonight’ by England Dan & John Ford Coley comes on (Tom knew who sang it I admit I did not) and I started singing along to the snippet of the tune.. “I’m not talking bout the linen..” Linen?” Tom asks? “No? well, what are they saying?” says I. He laughs and says “I’m not talking bout movin in, and I don’t want to change your life” ohhh!! seriously, I should live here. I’m sure there are many more where that came from.

Two seconds after this exchange Chris comes tromping out of his room with his arm extended at me with a look of mock horror and frustration on his face and says; “I KNEW it was ‘movin in’, you want to know why? You WANT TO KNOW WHY I KNEW? Because I hear that song EVERY.FREAKING.DAY at work!!!”

Tom and I burst into a spontaneous chorus of Petula Clark’s ‘Downtown’ (another store favourite of his) and drove him screaming back into his room.

Oh yeah speaking of Petula Clark.. she also has that song ‘Don’t sleep in the Subway’ right? .. “I’ve heard it all a million time before.Take off your clothes, lie down, and close the door.”

*checks amiright.com*




Misheard Lyrics:

I’ve heard it all a million time before
Take off your clothes, lie down, and close the door.



Original Lyrics:

I’ve heard it all a million time before
Take off your coat, my love, and close the door.


See, it’s not just me.

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