So I decided to go outside during my “lunch break” and searched high and low for some sunglasses because thank you Jebus it was a gorgeous warm sunny day. I realized that all my good pairs were down in my car so I looked for the next best thing, a pair of the sort of mildly coloured glasses I bought on a whim because I thought they looked cool. These glasses mind you do little better than cut the glare. I have a couple of pairs in different colours.
I realized that they were pretty dusty (ooops) so I brought out the cleaning cloth and scrubbed those suckers down so I could y’know actually SEE through them. Tom was in the middle of booking our flights down to Georgia for the conference I’m going to attend again this year (and that he’s tagging along for) and he asked me a question so I popped over then was on my way outside and damn if I couldn’t figure out where I had put the glasses. I walking aimlessly around the room, Tom went looking around on the table, floor etc where I had just been and nadda, pfff, nothing, they were gone. So weird!
I pulled down another pair and repeated the whole scrubbing process and held these ones in my hot little hand and headed outside popping my glasses on my nose on my way through the lobby. A older couple had a moving van pulled right up to the door and they and I guess a friend were in the middle of unloading it. I passed them and smiled a hello and they kind of just looked at me. Gawd, I’m thinking to myself, here we go another cranky, unfriendly old couple who just stare when you say hi. Whatever.
I walk out into the courtyard and breathed in the fresh air. Man it was so nice and mild I really didn’t need my light jacket but I sure did need those sunglasses. I walked along wishing they were darker but I feeling too incredibly lazy to go down to the parking garage and just kept walking . I got to the end of the block and I felt this really uncomfortable feeling and reached up and touched the top of my head. Yup. There were the missing glasses. Heh.
So I suddenly start to smile, hide the smile, smile, hide the sm… oh then I just burst out laughing. Unfortunately at the time this older Sikh gentleman happened to be walking up behind me and when he saw this strange woman suddenly for no apparent reason burst into laughter he CROSSED THE ROAD. I’m serious. He got a safe distance from me and then turned back to look. By then I had whipped the glasses off my head and stuffed them into my coat pocket.
Later when I got back to the front door the couple was gone, though their truck still in the process of being unloaded so I was spared that humiliation. I realized that they HAD to have noticed the extra pair of glasses on my head and were dumbstruck by my obliviousness or something. Or maybe they were just assholes. Whatever.
I get back inside and shout to Tom who was getting ready for work,
“Hey I found the glasses guess where they were?”
He shouts back “On top of your head?”
“Yes!!” I said
“REALLY??!?!?!” says Tom
By then I’m a laughing again and told him of the people who had stared at me.
Tom says.. “They must have thought now there goes a lady that really believes in UV protection!”
Wow, I’m only 42 and I’m already pulling stuff like this? What’s next? I park my car and lose it in the parking lot? Oh wait n/m ummmm I do that already too.