Holy $hit it’s Christmas

Well after “Lysoling” and “bleaching” the kitchen until I almost succumbed to the fumes, it was finally deemed food-prep worthy again a few days ago. I have to say it was quite a relief because as much as not cooking and take-out sounds appealing, you can only eat so much of it before the bloom is off the proverbial rose.

Having a clean kitchen was one thing, procuring the replacement cooking/serving/eating with implements was another. Cut to us in the local Canadian Tire (for those of you non-Canadians, they don’t just sell tires despite the name) and loaded up the cart with new cutlery et al. $500 later (yes $500) we now have our clean drawers and counters filled. None of this was covered by insurance as it was our call to throw them away. Yes I know I COULD have bleached the shite out of all of the forks, knives, metal cooking implements but that stuff or the results of said stuff goes in our MOUTHS people. I don’t lick the floor so I’m fine with cleaning that. Plus a lot of the stuff had plastic, cloth or wood involved and anything with a crevice oy… all that had to go, bio-waste yanno. The toaster, our rather “expensive toaster for a toaster”  was also a victim and was replaced with a newer model of the same. Dude we love our toast here.

Is it all replaced yet? Oh probably not but I won’t realize I’m lacking something until I need it. I can probably get away without a garlic press for a while, or a pastry cutter… I mean I’m not exactly Martha Stewart so I’m not even sure why I had them. I mean, hello? I’m just amazed by my technical skill when some aspect of a home cooked meal doesn’t come from a box or can and still ends up somewhat edible.

So yeah, kitchen usable. Score!

Came just in time really because dammit, you wouldn’t think that it would be so hard to have a meal out on Christmas Eve right? Turns out unless you want to pay a crap-load of money for a hotel meal you’re pretty much out of luck. So we bought a turkey and the trimmings and yours truly did the cooking thing again. I kind of hate turkey to be honest so once a year is all I can handle. Deli meat turkey I can eat no problem (though truthfully I prefer chicken) but roast turkey to me always smells better than it is so I generally buy a small turkey so there isn’t any left-overs and feed the four of us, plus my Mother for that one meal and any left-overs go home with my Mum.

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Me pre-hot kitchen sweats and flatterlying double-chinless…hey it’s my blog.

Dinner was… okay. I wasn’t super impressed by the turkey. I can’t blame myself really (or can I?) I mean I did as I’ve been told, I used a thermometer, let it sit to re-juicify before carving blah blah but it was meh. I was more impressed with the turkey last year and that was a butterball. Oh well. Mum was able to get onto the bar stool height seating with some assistance from the lovely Tom. I mean my legs dangle when I sit on these chairs and I’m not short. Mum of the repaired hip was a doubtful contender for high chairs but she made it. She was actually trucking to and from her wheelchair via the walker quite handily, I think she surprised herself. She said she’s going to try walking a bit more with the walker which is good as long as she takes it slow. Last thing she needs is to fall again, she likes it where she lives now.

After dinner came the to/from Grandma gift opening as it was the Boys year to be with us until Christmas morning.
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Sean played Santa and separately the gifts into open this evening and open tomorrow piles (per person) and my Mum was once again twitterpated by the number of gifts for her.

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My Mum is on a very limited income for reasons I won’t get into but I’ve been secretly paying for the “from Grandma” gifts for a long time now as I do her shopping anyway. The kids know it and get why, they’re good boys. They are very enthusiastic and thank Grandma for their gifts and it makes her happy, that’s all that matters.

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It was during the opening of Tom’s gift from my Mother that resulted in the best line of the evening. He opened the DVD and exclaimed “awww you gave me “BULLSHIT!”

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Accompanied by the necessary explanation….

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Ohhhh it’s a show…..

After some coffee and Mum dozing off in her chair (she’s used to going to bed at like 9:00 pm now and waking up at 4:00 am she says) we decided to call it a night and took her back home. I know I’ve gone on before about how I want to live there, but its true. It was done up so nicely for Xmas, lights and all and they even had a present night for all the residents which is nice especially for those that don’t have any family at all.

It’s funny the times I’ve been out in the public areas for any length of time I’m either Grandma smothered to death (an aside, so far most of them think I’m visiting my grandma which I guess is a complement or all have deteriorating vision) or they think I work there and ask me to push/assist them to wherever they are heading.

Anyway, Mum was left with a huge-ass stocking to open the following morning, which I’m shocked to say she actually waited until after lunch to open.  In years past she woke up in the middle of the night unable to resist the stocking’s siren song.

We said we weren’t going to stay up late but we kind of did having a drink or two. Not as late as the past but it was going on 1:00 am which of course meant we slept in a bit. Or rather everyone else did. I was up at some stupid hour bothered by my sinuses and did some more clearing up.

After a pancake breakfast (no bacon and eggs this year because the griddle is a yet to be replaced victim of the flood of ’09) we got down to some serious present unwrapping. I save money for Christmas, we like to go a little overboard. I figure we don’t live house poor, we don’t spend a lot of money on ourselves buying crap all year  like some people do so Christmas is the time to go a wee bit spoily.

Tom and I have had to resort to wish-lists and HINTS for presents cos you get to a point where knowing what the person likes and what to get them gets hard. I mean, what is the point of getting someone something you think they will like rather than something you KNOW they will like. There are some things you can be vague about… like me and my lava-lamp fetish. I want a lava-lamp is enough of a description, the colour, shape size.. hey that’s up for negotiation. When it comes to say a camera? I tend to be a bit more specific. Jewelry Tom’s already good at as he’s had the lesson on what I don’t like (no pins, no jewelry shaped like cutesy things like animals, bugs or fashion accessories, nothing overly fussy and for the love of Pete no clusters!) I joke that I’ve taken Tom into a jewelry store, pressed his face against the glass showed him what I DON’T like and rapped him over the nose with a newspaper to take the point home. The actual lesson came from the well meaning heart shaped earrings he bought me when we first started dating. I smiled and thanked him, put them in and never wore them again. This was back when I was too nice to press his face against glass and he was too afraid to use Q-tips around me (what? No! There is no Wax in my ears?) or yanno fart. Times have changed people, we’re married now so there is all kinds of face-against-glass-pressing, farting and Q-tipping going on.

Okay this is one long ass post, if anyone other than me reads to this point you get a gold star.

Anyway, back to Christmas…it starts with Chris realizing that he’s lost Sean’s gift. It is somewhere in the midden of a room and the two of them set off to look for it. Sean had specifically asked for this game and he wanted to be able to play with it so I guess that became their Christmas trick of the year. We never got around to doing one this year with all that went on, and well, I think they really don’t find it fun anymore anyway.

Sean DID manage to find the game in there much to his delight….IMG_0403

We started with the stockings…IMG_0410

and moved onto gifts…IMG_0448
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I had to laugh, when I got to Chris’ gifts I was like “Okay this doesn’t look like a Barcelona Mirror” (a mirror I’ve had on my list of gifts for him to get me for YEARS NOW). He says that in fact the gift I was about to open was more relevant a few days before but now….

I open it up to find FOUR sets of cutlery, three matching (that’s 60 pieces ) and another set of 20 different ones for fun.. holy crap! I told him there is no such thing as too much cutlery. Some of it is in storage now but if we ever have a dinner party for 100 of our closest friends we are sooo ready. Heh. J/K kinda.

He also told me to close my eyes and went into his room and came out with YES the coveted Barcelona mirror. He said it was too hard to wrap.

Mirror from Chris
Yay! Now I just need him to get me that waffle maker…hmmm my Birthday IS coming up.

After playing with our various toys, it came time for the Boys to head over to their Father’s for that side of the family’s Christmas whatevers so they took off and Tom and I settled into a quiet afternoon of just doing NOTHING followed by a dinner of Christmas day NON TURKEY pasta.

Good times.

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