I’m a chronic insomniac. I swear that it stems partly from a deep-rooted fear that I might miss something (what I have no idea) and partly from having a mind that never wants to shift into neutral.
This means I spend a lot of nights up late and a lot of mornings clinging to my bed sheets whimpering when I have to get up. This also means that unlike my husband who can awaken via gentle notes from a musical alarm I need a sledgehammer to smack me, HARD. Pity poor Tom on the mornings he can sleep in and I have to get up. He has to endure the sound of MY alarm clock screeching with increasing volume as I bury my head deeper under the duvet and he has no way to get to it easily to shut it off.
When we both need to get up around the same time he will set his alarm and then gently coo me awake trilling higher, then lower. It’s siiiiiixxxxx o’clooooooock…it’s siiiiiiix oooo’cloooock…
Saturday morning was one of those days I had to get up early (for school) and Tom didn’t (day off) this time however there was no trilling me awake, I awoke to find the light on and Tom standing beside the bed. Confused at first I thought it was time to get up but no…it was 4:30 am. Alarmed that something was wrong I shook myself awake and sat up to ask what was going on.
Tom tells me that the cat (who likes to sleep under the covers) had thrown up IN the bed, even worse he had been laying on it for who knows how long and worse still, he had discovered it after he had come back to bed from going to the bathroom, feeling along to make sure he wasn’t about to lay down on a cat.
So UP we got to change the sheets and under pad (hey we have cats that puke an under-pad is necessary!) and Tom changed his Pjs This whole time I’m leaning up against the wall half-asleep, I hadn’t been asleep very long but long enough to have finally sunk into dream state and was starting to return there while vertical. Once everything was back together we both flopped back into bed.
Then the whole thing hit my funny bone. I started to giggle uncontrollably replaying the despair in Tom’s voice when he told me what had happened….
“The cat puked in the bed…. and it’s FLAAAAAAT…. I’ve been laying in it for hooooourrrrrrrssssss”
“I dipped my HAND in it”
Hahaha even now I’m laughing. I shouldn’t I know because I’ve had my own traumatic cat excretory encounters and Karma is a bitch but I can’t help it, I’m a little twisted that way.